Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
