I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
