I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
