I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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