i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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