I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You can't just leave with hair like that
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize