it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
