We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
