Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We have started to decorate penises.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize