she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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