on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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