there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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