I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
