I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
