Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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