remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
