One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
