Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize