Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
