I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
