I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
