Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize