If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
