i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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