Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
