that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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