fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Quick, to the slutcave!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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