I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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