Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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