ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
