areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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