My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
