Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
