Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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