I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
