If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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