Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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