in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize