yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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