he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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