Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
