I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
