hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
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