remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I need water and some morals
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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