Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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