even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
