I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Operation Purity has been aborted
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
