So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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