i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
