just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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