if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
