she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
