I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
