U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
