I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize