Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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