Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize