garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
