Where did you get a picture of my penis
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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