So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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