I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
