so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
