Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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