I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
